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Robin Stanton supposes her appreciation for younger men was honed during the feminist revolution. Growing up in Ohio in the s, she married her high school sweetheart at age They had two children, but before long she realized her traditional marriage was killing her soul. Mature young women Stanton's dismay, her husband seemed threatened by her intelligence and high spirits, as well as her singing career.
I was a golf widow all weekend, every weekend. And whenever I Mature young women a performance, he refused to support me by even being there. In a step that was unusual at the time, Stanton sought a divorce, then went to graduate school in journalism. She began as a general asment arts writer Mature young women a rock and film critic, and soon became a daily television columnist.
In later years she covered major political events and the lives of celebrities, interviewing more than 1, in 30 years, including favorites Gene Kelly, Cher, and writer and producer Paddy Chayefsky. Covering the rock scene also put her in touch with young male musicians, and she wound up going out with several guitar players and a drummer. They taught me a lot about being comfortable with who I was. Now a jewelry deer in Las Vegas, Stanton recalls, "I swore I'd never stick with a man who hadn't grown up with the feminist revolution. I liked men who appreciated my talent and my brain," and didn't insist that she be skinny.
That was more than 35 years ago. Since then she has had several lengthy relationships -- including another marriage -- to men between seven and 17 years younger. Stanton Mature young women a relationship with one young Mature young women she still calls the love of her life. Sometimes we'd sit in front of the fireplace singing country-western songs at the top of our voices. It was so corny and so much fun. Stanton, who has recently settled into a relationship with a longtime friend 18 months her junior, found that men who had grown up with the women's movement tended to be less possessive.
She didn't have to conform to a rigid idea of what a woman should be, she says, and her young boyfriends didn't treat her like a trophy or an acquisition. Stanton was apparently on the leading edge of what experts say is a new trend: older women dating younger men. Although older men dating younger women has long been socially acceptable or at least commonplace in many citiesolder women are now dating younger men in record s. It may be a trend on the upswing: Thanks to higher divorce rates and higher percentages of people who have never married, today 40 percent of the 97 million Americans 45 or older are single.
Research on dating habits of these plus singles is sparse, but according to an AARP survey of 3, older singles, 34 percent of women in the to age group date younger men. And 14 percent of women age 50 to 59 say they prefer dating men in their 40s or younger. According to the AARP survey, respondents cited fun and companionship as the main reasons for dating.
Of the respondents -- 56 of whom had been married in the past -- only 8 percent said they were looking for marriage. Nonetheless, more than one in 10 of these relationships le to marriage: The most recent Census Bureau figures show that about 12 percent of all marriages are between older women and younger men. Women dating younger men said they appreciated the strength, humor, openness, youth, and passion of their partners. What do the men get? Stanton believes that although some of the attraction may be predicated on the mystique of the older woman, her appeal to younger men was based not just on chemistry but on "the luxury of having a finished person.
With me they got great cooking, a settled home, and a bonding of souls who had so many common interests," not the least of which was rock and roll. Whether this kind of romance le to a happy marriage, of course, may depend on luck or destiny. For Blythe Woolston, it probably has been a bit of both. One of her students and team teachers was the man who later became her husband and the father of her children. However, neither of them saw it coming for a long time. It wasn't that we weren't attracted to each other, but we weren't thinking about that.
We just enjoyed each other's company a great deal. They developed a strong Mature young women as colleagues, she says. But she was always aware that he was a student and she was not, so the boundaries were clear. Besides, she was divorced with a young daughter to raise, and a new relationship, let alone a traditional marriage, was not on her radar screen. But as fate would have it, their friendship deepened, and one night after driving her home, Chris offered that it might be okay if their parting involved more than the usual innocent goodnight peck. And they eventually became a couple.
Despite the 11 years' age difference -- she is 46, he is 35 -- "I have an endless joy and curiosity about him. It is a richly wonderful relationship. We're not competitive, but we're always sharpening each other," she says.
It turned out that he felt the same way, and after he finished his master's degree in biology, they married. They have successful careers both are writers and two children of their own now approaching adulthood. By choice, Blythe, a novelist, is no longer the chief wage earner. And, she says, Chris has been a wonderful father to her first daughter. That's a real gift to give to a girl. The phenomenon of older women dating younger men " from older women feeling much better about themselves: sexy and attractive," according to sex therapist and author Lonnie Barbach, PhD.
That often points to younger men. Barbach, who penned the best-selling books Going the Distance and Turn On, two books about creating satisfying relationships, says that "in past decades a younger man might have been interested, but the older woman wouldn't have thought it was possible.
So she wouldn't have acted on it. Today, however, women have a lot more options. The dictates of social norms don't run our lives like they used to. Still, old prejudices haven't disappeared entirely. Some friends assumed her relationship was simply about sex -- and told her so. There were raised eyebrows and whispered innuendos about her being a "Mrs.
And then we had this one Mature young women Every time we got together she said, Mature young women just can't believe how young John is! Moreno, on the other hand, feels that his friends and family have been quick to accept the relationship. He was attracted to Johansen, his company's art director, for her intelligence, warmth, and "artsy personality," he says.
He didn't realize she was in her mids until they'd been dating for several weeks, but by then, it didn't matter. So I think that makes me older than you. Ironically, Moreno showed more emotional depth and maturity than men closer to her age that Johansen had dated, she says, and he embraced the commitment of helping her raise her son, then 10 years old. Not all men dating older women are ready for a lifelong relationship, however, nor are all the women.
But some women looking for long-term commitment have been stymied by Mature young women differences in age and maturity. Alice Brydges, a year-old Feldenkrais instructor and former dancer in San Francisco, is divorced after a year marriage and bustling with energy.
They seem terrified of losing control. Barbach agrees that "the difference in maturity levels and life experience can be a problem in any relationship where a large age gap exists. But it's difficult to generalize, Barbach says. For other couples, aging isn't an issue at all. Of course, health problems can afflict the younger partner as well. Moreno, for example, developed hip problems so serious that even walking became unbearable without a cane. Recently, he underwent two separate hip surgeries in more than a year, forcing Johansen into round-the-clock care for her young husband during the weeks of his convalescence.
It was fortunate, Johansen says, that she had been a candy striper at a local hospital when she was Moreno recovered quickly, however, and was able to return to an exercise regimen that would make a triathlete envious. Johansen accompanies him on mile cycling trips; as a result, she says, her physical stamina is better than it was in her 20s.
Today, Mature young women couple often gets up at dawn to go mountain biking together. For her part, Woolston feels no desire to accompany her husband and older son on all their all-day hiking and fishing trips. She used the time to work on her new novel. She knows other happy couples in which the woman is several years older than the man, and she believes this trend will continue as women realize they have more options than before.
They don't wake up every day thinking there's a big chunk missing out of their lives. It turned into a wonderful relationship, but it never occurred to me that this was the path Chris and Mature young women were heading down. You have to be open to possibilities, especially that someone younger can fall in love with you. I wasn't, until somebody pointed it out to me. September December 31, Older Women, Younger Men.
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