Added: Majorie Worthington - Date: 20.08.2021 11:16 - Views: 49843 - Clicks: 9342
I am a year-old single man with a well-paid job and excellent prospects. My problem is that I have been betrayed by two women and I can't understand why. Until seven months ago I was involved for five years with a girl much younger than me.
During this time I paid her rent, paid off her debts, bought her expensive jewellery and got her a good job - only to find that she was sleeping with her ex-boyfriend. I was devastated but feel that she should pay me back. She has refused. I met the second woman at a conference. She is 31 and was engaged to another man.
She told me that if she split up with him she would go out with me. Last month, they did just that, but she now says that she is not interested in me. I have a lot of money and everything to offer but have been let down twice and it's tearing me apart. What should I Betrayed by a woman This may sound harsh, but I suspect you had an idea that your ex-girlfriend was still involved Betrayed by a woman her former boyfriend.
But, at the time, the relationship was working for both of you, so you turned a blind eye. I also think you should ask yourself why you become attracted to younger and obviously unavailable women. What do you hope to gain from such liaisons? I also became involved with an older man whose idea of commitment was to offer to pay my rent. Believe it or not, it wasn't Betrayed by a woman money I was after. After several months I called it off and, yes, I did return to my former boyfriend. Name and address withheld. Your problem is not that you have been betrayed.
It is that your love in both the cases you mention has been conditional. You tried to buy the love of your much younger girlfriend. By paying off her debts, by giving her expensive jewellery and by paying her rent you felt that she owed you something. She didn't.
In your second relationship your love was also conditional and was again bound to fail. I am sure that you do have "everything to offer", but until it is given without strings attached I am sure no one will take it up. Sheila K Madhvani London. Finding the right partner is not about having "excellent prospects" or having "everything to offer" materially.
If you try and base your relationships on material concerns alone, you will only attract materialists - people who will take you for a ride and give you little in return. And it sounds as if the first girl you mention was certainly one of these. It's an age-old cliche, but all the money and prospects in the world won't buy you love or affection.
You may have money to throw about, but that doesn't mean you automatically deserve a girlfriend. A woman is not a trophy, to be won by the most eligible and wealthy competitor. You also seem to have unfair expectations of the women you meet socially and, I hate to say it, an overblown sense of your own importance. The woman you met at the conference did not betray you. But she was under no obligation to do so when she and her boyfriend did split up.
If you want a true, fulfilling relationship, you should begin by treating the women you meet as people, rather than potential rewards for what you consider to be your own material and professional success. If you don't start doing this, you are destined for a series of short-term affairs with immature women who will use you for the indulgent fool they see you to be.
Remember: a mature women with her own income and independence is unlikely to be attracted to someone who believes that buying her the occasional flash gift gives him sole rights over the way she lives her life. I understand how frustrating it must be that, despite your obvious ability and willingness to pay for a loving and devoted partner, these two women have failed to keep their part of the bargain. There is clearly no alternative left other than to buy a mail-order bride or take out a long-term lease on a prostitute.
After all, if your wealth and status don't impress, why should personal qualities such as sensitivity, respect and humility be any more effective? Julian Baggini London. Men and women "betray" each other all the time - it is part of the psychological battles between them. You must get used to this and chalk it up to experience, but you should also hold back the full force of your feelings until you decide that the other person is worth your emotional investment. You seem to have chosen badly. The first woman could have been an opportunistic gold-digger.
You emphasise your Betrayed by a woman, so perhaps Betrayed by a woman it comes easily to you. Did you make it clear the money you paid to her was a loan? If so, of course she should pay it back. But that's almost irrelevant - you allowed her to treat you as a meal ticket.
If it wasn't a loan, then why should she pay it back when you were no longer together? Why did you do so much for her and what did you get out of it? Good sex? A youthful companion? A boost to your self-esteem? The second woman was committed to someone else when you met her, so how could she be "someone special" for you?
What she said to you sounds like a classic gentle let-down that didn't commit her at all. It was a white lie, not betrayal. It's no surprise that when she was free, she didn't choose you. Perhaps Betrayed by a woman doesn't want to be with anyone for a while after a commitment that didn't work out. Put these women down to experience. Hold on to your heart and your cash, and choose more wisely next time.
Value yourself and your feelings. Don't be a doormat. And, just because two women have treated you badly, don't offload that on to the next woman you meet. Rachael Whalley London. Our youngest daughter has just told us that her year marriage has been a misery and she is now feeling so low she wishes she were dead. We are devastated. She has the most devoted husband who has been a loving and considerate son-in-law and a superb father to their four teenagers. She can give no coherent explanation or reason that makes any sense.
Our son-in-law is determined to keep the family together and we want to help him all we can. We believe our daughter must be mentally ill and this is causing her irrational feelings, yet she refuses Betrayed by a woman see a doctor. How can we get her the help she obviously needs before she causes the pain that a divorce would bring us all?
Can readers suggest our next step? Private Lives appears every Friday. Each week we publish a letter to which readers are invited to respond. Replies, with an of your own experience, should reach us by Thursday. Readers are also welcome to propose other problems, of around words. I have money and prospects - so why do women betray me? Fri 2 Jun Open your eyes This may sound harsh, but I suspect you had an idea that your ex-girlfriend was still involved with her former boyfriend.
Name and address withheld No strings attached Your problem is not that you have been betrayed. Sheila K Madhvani London It's not about money Finding the right partner is not about having "excellent prospects" or having "everything to offer" materially. I wish you luck. Jane Wright London Spend, spend, spend I understand how frustrating it must be that, despite your obvious ability and willingness to pay for a loving and devoted partner, these two women have failed to keep their part of the bargain.
Julian Baggini London Choose more carefully Men and women "betray" each other all the time - it is part of the psychological battles between them. Rachael Whalley London Private lives: Next week Our youngest daughter has just told us that her year marriage has been a misery and she is now feeling so low she wishes she were dead. Reuse this content.Betrayed by a woman
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A Woman Betrayed